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NATIONWIDE?! But...Oh shur today is MONDAY!!! I'm all confused with the Bank Holiday.

@SeanFarrell09 #nohope

When Gary Glitter sang "Do you want to be in my gang?" we never realised it was an actual recruitment drive.

Karl saw a sloth at the Zoo and was annoyed at how big the enclosure was. I said "Why?" He said "It doesn't use it. Hang it in a wardrobe"

RT UCD Innovation: UCD announces new taught masters degree in applied #equine science University College Dublin @Equinome ucd.ie/innovation/new…

More than 1.4 million Americans signed our petition demanding expanded background checks for gun sales—by far the most in Organizing For Action history.

Congratulations to Reid Mansell and @CPDwing for winning the latest #Derek competition. With thanks to Posteritty & Ricky Gervais!

“@GervaisFanArt: Popular Bath Pic pic.x.com/XYQnqcjykg” Haha. Brilliant. CoolBathPics

“@GervaisFanArt: "Dwarfs aren't babies, you can't just pick 'em up!" #equalitystreet pic.x.com/PhKyTYKGO5” Every one, a winner.

1.4 million people say the fight for common-sense gun violence prevention is not over. It's time Congress listened. pic.x.com/VSylr4SP8K

@SeanFarrell09 you shut up pube head!!!!!!!!!

@SirFagan #no1student #tweettweet #hashtag

@SirFagan I'm currently in a tutorial #earningcredits . I'm going to the talk later #offinmytravels

@SirFagan #tweettweet love ya

#whydowework because we all need money to live and be happy and healthy and have good fun #thatsthewhy

#ontheroadtobecomeaperson what most babies should tweet when their born #funtweets

Hi! I want you, babe💕 link me- goo.gl/d1kI2b