Yes. Pour it properly: make sure the glass is full, make sure the head isn’t too big and make sure the pint costs about £3 BECAUSE THAT’S HOW MUCH IT COSTS STOP PRETENDING IT DOESN’T.

I spend a LOT of time representing people who are or were in the armed forces. I am not making any judgment on them - but I will say for certain - a lot of them are violent and have serious alcohol/drug problems. Whether they were like that anyway or the military made them so ?!

the room next door - Rishi Sunak and the Eye Roller

1/ The “evidence-based therapy” game—explained with 🥞 I have a pancake recipe. I do randomized controlled trials (RCTs) showing that people like my 🥞 better than getting no breakfast at all My🥞are now “evidence-based” & yours aren’t. I start telling everyone my🥞are superior

I once had a client who was arrested because a copper thought he was about to throw Domestos at a vicar. He was arrested to prevent a bleach of the priest.

I’ve always loved John Oliver but I swear to God this is perfection 🔥🔥🔥👇👇👇👇🔥🔥🔥🔥

John Oliver’s show has consistently been the best show on tv for the last ten years. I even got to be in the audience for an episode and it was magnificent. But this might be his masterpiece. Please do what he says.

Me, the whole week, to everything: "I'll do it at the weekend" Also me, all weekend:

Football’s got a second home.

Dozens of local councillors became MPs for the first time on 4 July and there is no legal impediment to an MP continuing as a councillor, but it is generally not seen as possible to do both jobs properly at the same time. This posed no problem for the former Tory MP for

Enjoy!

.Kebhouze congrats your Oxford St branch are a bunch of assholes. I ordered & paid, no receipt printed, when my order turns up get accused of being a thief as I can't provide POP, get asked to show my bank details to prove the exact order that I can tell them what I've ordered.

Knowing my luck, I’ll sleep in and completely miss the Oasis gigs tickets going on sale and still get tickets.

Oasis are the most damaging pop-cultural force in recent British history. (And their singer is a massive homophobe.) A column I wrote for @GuardianOpinion. theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

For the price of the booking fee of one Oasis ticket you could attend one gig here at £7-£10 for 3 bands, potentially "The Next Big Thing" and buy a beer for £3.50 Tell us again how live music is too expensive nowadays... 🙆🏻‍♀️🌝

Why? Does it get tangled in your fucking crown of thorns?

FACT: The majority of people in receipt of benefits are working Therefore, as a society we accept that hundreds of thousands of people don't earn enough to live on I want the companies who profit from their labour to pay them - not my taxes Increased minimum wage is essential.

Someone bought my audiobook tonight. Doesn’t happen often these days, so I’m all cosy it happened tonight. It’s a good audiobook (also the actual book is good). probably won’t start plugging it again, so this is my only advert for it now. Please buy it! michaellegge.bandcamp.com/album/strawber…

Hey there, Maiden fans! We want to hear YOUR story. How did you get into Maiden? What was your first album? Gig? What’s the best/daftest bit of memorabilia you’ve got? Tell us EVERYTHING here or email us at [email protected] #ironmaiden

Of course, these days you can’t even say Christmas. I know I can’t. Klimpnush. See? Pathetic.