If McDonald's is the official restaurant of the Olympics, cigarettes might as well be the official medicine of cancer.

Smile. Your enemies hate it.

Sometimes being too nice is dangerous, you have to show your mean side once in a while to avoid getting hurt.

You’re nothing short of my everything.

I want a job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups

"I began learning long ago that those who are happiest are those who do the most for others." - Booker T. Washington

"We must always change, renew and rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

What if Netflix doubled as a dating service like "here are 7 other singles that watched Grey's Anatomy for 8 hours straight"

The funniest people are the most depressed.

They say I can do just about anything, but I wish I had the power to look that good!

"To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." - Thomas Campbell

"If your plan isn't working, adjust your plan. Never give up." - Matt Martin

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate." - Charles Dickens

Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I’ll be your man.

"Nothing is more damaging to you than to do something that you believe is wrong." - Abraham

Appreciate what you have right now, because you don't always get a second chance.

"Freedom lies in being bold." - Robert Frost

"Take time for all things: great haste makes great waste." - Benjamin Franklin

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the problems.