now considering a career change after winning my 2nd public dance-off in 3 weeks

Happens to all of us sometimes x

hey sorry i can’t make it tonight i’m hanging out disrespectfully with women in unstable places from my wild recent past

Same hun x

when someone touches me & i wasn’t prepared for physical contact

It’s honestly a violation having to watch myself approach my front door on my ring doorbell

Teams is just msn for the corporate girlies

Hey girl are you the North of England, because I want to promise you the greatest rail you’ve ever had and then immediately disappoint you.

How it feels standing in the weird door tube thing at PureGym waiting for it open

Sylvanian Drama didn’t have to go this hard

stanley tucci isn’t sweating over a pot of al dente risotto on tiktok daily for this

Love how much material I have for the girlies in the gc today xoxo

Great day - pocket dialled my auntie whilst talking about a NSFW dream I had and received soggy cardboard instead of a Vinted order.

Third base is when I have a panic attack in front of you

What Suella Braverman wanted was the students to shout at her, call her names, so GB News could broadcast it. But it failed because they gave her the silent treatment and then got one of their representative to eloquently drag her in the studio.

Only being 100% delusional this year

Who wants to go to Four Seasons Orlando?

Using photos of dead pensioners is a new low.