4yo just called the pantry ‘the not-cold fridge’

South Australia and Western Australia, gotta be the laziest state names ever.

look idk about this copy

FINALLY

hey LILJON it was great to meet you 14 years ago, i hope you are well mate John Patterson

I cannot stop thinking of the convoluted concept of The Veronicas pretending to break up for a day, only to announce they’re partnering with Vodka Cruiser to bring awareness to masturbation.

Real Pagne for my Cham friends.

Kid just asked Siri to play 'Daphne and Celeste Essentials' before bed😭

To be invited to perform as a member of ‘Justice Crew’ you must first be a Justice of the Peace. And it’s been that way since 2009!

I’m going to name my next child ‘Robodebt Scheme Patterson’

“Let’s go goils” (Popeye singing Shania Twain’s hit, Man! I Feel Like A Woman)

My 5yo just said ‘why does in every movie, one person says ‘I’ll take that as a yes’.

Told my kids after ordering them KFC I was going to tell the cashier ‘shut up and take my money’ because of the ad and they BEGGED me not to.

'I miss twitter, I'm sad somebody called it x-box' - my 5yo who can barely read or write but liked the cute lil bird icon.

the confidence this cockroach just crossed the room in front of me with

Never forget