Me when I look at my grapevines in the garden.

Be funny if Trump crashed out over the South Park shit but not because of the devil or Epstein stuff, but because they made him Canadian.

Me 49 seconds after telling her I’m about to go 12 rounds on that thing.

america's stinky lounge singer Have a friend- he’s a bodybuilder, multimillionaire, 8 inches and thick, talented, loving, respectful, wife died 10 weeks ago, daughter committed suicide 3 weeks ago, and he cannot get any snow bunnies on the beach. What’s going on here?

“For just 100 billion dollars a day, less than the price of a home cooked meal, you could help a poor young starving country like America. Call now.” -Sally Struthers

___ be feeling like Sodomy and Gonorrea.

rabbit rabbit friends August gonna be our month faux sure.

Zy What’s this unknown constant? Oh that’s the fine structure constant. Oh what’s that represent? We have no idea what specifically but the structure is fine because of it.

My wife is not being a nagging emo wench this week so I think she’s pregnant.

all these lil ai companies Try our new slop machine, now with 80% more slop. Our sloppiest yet. Mmm. So sloppy.

Sometimes when I’m constipated I rock like an autistic kid on the toilet and it helps.

Did the B-2 bomber see its shadow? 6 more weeks of war?

Turns out this was a load bearing tweet. Wish us luck.