hey boss can i head out early i want to go play outside

me whenever the sky looks pretty

you got a fast car i got a plan to get us out of here

So, when Jason Kelce does this it’s okay, but when I do it at a family gathering it’s “problematic” and I should “seek help” x.com/EROCK_Eagles/s…

would have started saving money in kindergarten if i knew life was like this

2 raccoons trying to open a door

Remember the last time we saw this guy pitch? 😏

I be rotating like a rotisserie chicken in my sleep

Happy birthday to the original Wildlife Warrior💚

I really needed this today

Now this is a DATE

“i’ll tell you tomorrow” tell me now or i’ll throw up

We've seen this before. 😉

The last time we were in Houston...

Smitty with the Jimmy-Jack! #StraightUpTX

With his 3,372nd career K, Max Scherzer passes Greg Maddux for 11th on the all-time strikeout list!

JOSH HIM SMITH. #StraightUpTX

LANGFORD TIES IT IN THE 9TH!

Just like that! 💥

When there's still 126 days until Opening Day but you're patiently waiting cause you're just a chill guy.