Home from a wedding where my job was to escort the ring bearer 😻

this made my day

I am about to fill this up with people who don’t rack their weights at the gym

do you know how bad things need to get for steve from blue’s clues to step in

My favorite part about understanding the universe is that it often takes me from thinking "Why can't we make any of this work!?" to thinking "I CAN'T BELIEVE ANY OF THIS WORKS!!" And it's really nice to feel that way sometimes.

If it’s on the internet, it must be true. meangreensports.com/news/2021/9/10…

Norm MacDonald on battles with cancer cancer: “and I’m pretty sure, I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure if you die, the cancer dies at the same time. That’s not a loss. That’s a draw.”

Austin, rain already or stop teasing me with these cold breezes and cloudy skies

having plants is good for mental health because you can track your decline via their decline

Even statues can't read in peace

pilot: we’ll be landing shortly passengers: ok pilot: on the moon passengers: what pilot: i went too high

I GET TO CHANGE MY HANDLE NOW

Elon this is the last straw

Texas takes the series. #StraightUpTX

please respect my decision

IF YOU DON’T GIVE TEXAS A REGIONAL THEY WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND WIN YOURS! Period. 🤘🏼💣😮‍💨 Who wants us? 🧐

SAN ANTONIO SPUR SIR’ JABARI RICE