BREAKING: Ruto thought he could buy out the Law Society of Kenya (LSK) with loose change the way he does to his chicken in Sugoi. He's been told to fold it nicely and shove it down his alimentary canal. Class, does the pressure increases or decreases?

Saturday Standard p9 wanasema the US and UK Embassies are finalizing a list of National and County Gov't officials, their advisors and spouses, who are about to be slapped with VISA bans, in an ongoing crackdown on corruption in Kenya. Class, what is happening to the pressure?

Migori Senator Eddy Sen. Eddy Gicheru Oketch has also decided he will no longer massage the donkey down the slope anymore. Everyone is kicking and going.

Moses Kuria went to Nyeri to run his mouth at a funeral mass, only for Gen Zs in the room to force him to cut short his speech chanting Ruto Must Go. They are not believing.

Fellow citizens, let us unite in the pursuit of peace and progress for our nation. Strikes are not the solution. #SabaSabaMarchForOurLives