cool tweet about how indifferent i am toward cultural moments that distill our worldview

retweet of basically the same joke you already made, but oh well

Just destroying on Twitter right now. Everyone loves me. Bon mots. Quips. Thrills. Chills. All of the celebrities adore me. Can't stop cryi

THE FACE PUNCHING HAS ENDED YET I HAVE MORE WORDS TO SAY

MY AGE SHAPES MY OPINION OF MTV

WOW THAT THRONE REALLY GOT GAMED AMIRITE

Twitter (2014): Your funny tweet might get 100 likes! Twitter (2017): Here's a depressing tweet with 140,000 retweets, and it's not yours.

i used to be so much more fun

I'm on Twitter on a holiday weekend because I apparently hate fun.

acknowledge my vanity

only if you acknowledge mine

Please "like" this tweet with no message or interesting content just to see how high we can make it go. #BoredTweetlessExperiment

WOW THAT COLLEGE REALLY FOOTBALLED OUT THERE

MY HOLIDAY WEEKEND ESCAPISM HAS BEEN SHATTERED BY THE PASSAGE OF TIME

SHOCKED THAT A TEAM FROM NEW ENGLAND MAY NOT BE PLAYING FAIR

A FOOTBALL HAS FOOTBALLED AND I MUST SHOUT AT THE WORLD

hey that "it" movie is a thing, so here are too many opinions about clowns

I HAVE #STARWARS OPINIONS AND THE WORLD CANNOT CONTINUE TO SPIN UNTIL EVERYONE AGREES WITH ME

WHO CARES ABOUT THE #APPLEWATCH GET TO THE NEW iPHONE ALREADY

MY #EMMYS OPINIONS SHALL BE CELEBRATED BY UP TO DOZENS OF PEOPLE