finally free from the shackles of corporate america time to drink myself into a parallel universe.

day 47 working in an office: intentionally burning my mouth on scalding hot coffee just to feel alive

me on twitter: time to secure this mf bag me irl working for $10/hour:

real tweeters don't do it for the likes or the retweets, we do it for the tremendous void deep inside ourselves.

driving to work on this lovely friday morning and let me tell you buddy, this new ariana grande absolutely fuckin slaps.

why am I so young but I feel like life has already passed me by and all my best years are behind me? is that a part of growing up? am I just a depressed piece of shit? maybe,,,,,,both? idk

life's greatest high is the eight minutes after a cup of coffee where I actually want to be alive

the more I work the more I see functional alcoholism in my future

me: obnoxiously cheerful white woman: happy friiiidaaay :)!!! doing anything fun this weekend?!?! I'm gonna sleep in and catch up on my shows!!!!!

every day I eat lunch next to the same dude. never once have we exchanged words. we sit in complete silence and look at our phones. great guy, definitely my favorite person in the office.

only thought about swerving into oncoming traffic twice on the way to work today's gonna be a good day let's get this mf money

listening to coworkers talk about stale memes is cruel and unusual punishment and a direct violation of my rights under the eighth amendment of the united states constitution.

homophobes, nazis, and mysognists when they realized they can say anything they want on this app with zero meaningful repercussions: nice

me after not knowing shit on my quizlet, telling myself 'I know the material well enough for a multiple choice test', and then scrolling twitter

y'all still using this format? in 2018? x.com/PeralesKeilah/…

hate when companies try to sound cool in their job posting. just keep it real and tell me your wages are shit, and you're going exploit my labor.

I might not be good at anything, but I'm also doing absolutely nothing to change that.

been crushing on a girl in my class. thinking I'll pull out my go-to move: tweeting about it instead of confronting my crippling fear of rejection.