my boss got laid off, his boss signed off for the day, my coworker has a meeting with the VP in a few minutes and i have a meeting with the VP 30 minutes after that lol

What’s the funniest thing you’ve gotten scolded for in a 1:1 at work? “Please stop saying ‘That’s why they pay me the medium bucks’ every time someone says “Thank you” it’s making people uncomfortable” comes to mind for me

As someone without kids I hate to spoil this, but dad friends talk this way to avoid making you feel bad by saying “I don’t want to get $8 beers with you because there is a tiny human who will absolutely light up the second I walk through the door, so I’m going home”

A very strange experience working in compliance: you spend weeks or months designing a corporate training, then you get it assigned to yourself every single year.

wow I majorly fucked up by not addressing this immediately

keep an eye out for me on good morning america tomorrow! 👀 📺

My first law review article, officially in print

The first time I went to one of these was absolutely wild. The developer was so shocked someone showed up in support that he literally started tearing up. The rest of the commenters directed their angry rants at me, like my betrayal of the community was the greater crime

My new tactic when old acquaintances reach out about MLMs or scams is responding "UNSUBSCRIBE" - since these technically fall under CAN-SPAM regulations. They do not like this

People who live in areas with brutal winters always overdo summer. Try to fit in as many activities as possible. You can feel the tension with them. Winter is always on their mind, even in the middle of July

Recently realized a former coworker, who was one of the most useless, borderline negative utility people I’ve worked with, is a LinkedIn influencer with like half a million followers

I am absolutely devastated to have missed the Chaco X Waffle House collab. LOOK AT THEM the design is little waffles! Wearing these in Atlanta summer heat would have been perfect

Wow wonder if anyone has ever researched this, you must be the first one to consider it. All elementary, middle, high school, college, and post-grad programs in the world are wrong.

My life goal is to be so visibly happy that people assume I am dumb, bc the love island folks seem thrilled just to be alive.

the fact they can promise you a sedan and then just randomly “upgrade” you to an suv when you show up to pick up the car is insane

Modern job hunting is getting constant nonstop ads for specific positions, giving in and applying, getting ghosted, all while still being aggressively marketed to apply. Make up your mind do you want me or not!

90% of comedians whole shtick is self-deprecation are you insinuating they are in a position of genuine stature?

Thank god wouldn't want a kid to have a name that is individual. Without a spreadsheet how could you think of names like David, Steven, and George? Would take a genius or a supercomputer

ah yes the secret career advice just make $10m in 5 years

I won't name and shame but the number of top companies whose websites are utterly incapable of resizing to fit windows is.... astonishing.