How it feels to drunk drive

Thank god she didn’t do this over the weekend b/c it really would have messed with my birthday and pissed me off

And what happened over the course of 7 hours after this photo was taken changed someone’s life and made them a million dollars richer

You wake up in the middle of the night, parched. You walk to get water towards your staircase where you hear the sounds of a jazzy beat and beautiful vocals. Then, you see your mom dancing in a body con gold dress and her nips keep slipping out. I would do anything to be her son.

When the cartoon moderator in the respect in the workplace video is kinda cute 🥰

When you have all your gc’s muted and you go to bed before 9pm so you almost cash app your friend $200 the next morning but then double check and realize her Instagram has been hacked.

When my friends ask me to do anything ever

Tonight’s gunna be a bubble bath at Madonna Night at Akbar

She’s copying me

Parvati and Cirie back together is so important to me #survivor #SurvivorAUvsTheWorld

Lindsay Lohan has followed Lana Del Rey on Instagram.

I fucking love Nordstrom

Got Dunkin today 💋

Hot people play backgammon

T Believe in yourself. Trust your gut instinct. Be transparent. Live.🫶🏽

Went on a date and kept asking him his thoughts on Michael Jackson because Off The Wall was playing during a lull in the conversation. And he wouldn’t answer so I showed him my new shoes by putting them on the table. And then I said I had thin feet. Why won’t he text back?

This is unfortunately what I usually say after having sex with someone for the first time.