Password must contain at least one capital letter, one number, two female characters, they must both have names, and they must talk to each other about something other than a man.

too old to be a plucky teen Chosen One getting a call to adventure, too young to be solving crimes in a retirement village

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the killers me every night at like 10pm 🤝 i’m going to bed and my stomach is sick

the pandemic turned nice people nicer & toxic ppl even more toxic which was not the point you guys

Zeus: I’m sorry son, only gods can live in Olympus. Hercules: Why don’t you ask whoever’s in charge of Olympus to let me in? Zeus: … Hercules: Who’s in charge of Olympus, Dad? Zeus: …

Did it hurt? When Charlie bit you?

Unless your daughters tell you to go to Cancun

Out of fairness to Delta I propose we name all future strains by airlines, and out of fairness to Corona I propose we name all future pandemics by beers. That way those two aren’t the only brands to suffer.

Boys will read the iliad but are afraid to say ily to the lads

Ima say Candyman 5 times while my homie says Beetlejuice 3 times and we gon make em fight

It is with great sadness that we share the news that Dr. Bill Larsen passed away earlier today. He taught generations of Cinema Studies students in our department with passion and care. We will remember his life with a memorial service after the current covid spike.

“How are you?” -direct, professional, kinda rude tbh “How are you??” -fun, excited, sexy etc

Ok worth a shotSENDING SOOO MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT TO DEV PATEL

i don’t twerk nearly as much as i used to maybe thats why i be sad

Apple Orchard: Hey do you want apple juice? Adults: No that is for kids Apple Orchard: *crossing out 'juice'* I meant cider Adults: Oh yeah fuck me up

timothée chalamet sounds like the name of a very wealthy mouse