Earth = Gotham In the right now-right now, life is crazy

It’s wild that there are still speed talkin’ ass MFs on these internet skreetz. This isn’t vine, you have more than 6 seconds to say what you need to say. Take a deep breath and say it normal. I promise it’ll be okay. #RIP #vine #takeiteasybro

Ugh. That unhinged, irresponsible urge to get fast food on the way home from the goddamn grocery store. I didn’t THIS time but I def have before… a lot 😕

My father was a relentlessly, self improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy, and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 yr old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. #drevil #douglaspowers

Enterprise Rent-a-Car employee: Are you returning the vehicle— is it Mr. Evil? Me: DOCTOR Evil—I didn’t spend 6 years in Evil Medical School to be called “Mister”!! Halloween costume 100% worth it!!

You with different hairstyles

Hold up. Okay, I'm rewatching Ted Lasso for the 164196841614614168645th time, right-- I'm on S2E12 where Roy gets Keeley paper tickets to Marbella to go on holiday/vacation. She can't go and tells him she'll see him in 6 weeks. IS THAT HOW LONG ENGLISH PPL GO ON VACATION?!? 😮🤯

Fuckin' chicken bacon ranch!

Hi. The "Y" in "wagyu" is pronounced. That is all. Have a great day!

What time we supposed to be watchin' these ramparts? #baldasseagle

Eating right before watching the latest episode of The Boys was a bad decision.

Butter goop of John Gotti and I’m gonna miss everybody

AAAYYYYYY whenever TikTok gets banned, don’t y’all MFs dare send me no MF YouTube Shorts FFS!!

Man, FUCK Nessarose at the Ozdust scene when Elphaba’s dancing!

Oh Drake about to sue the Grammy’s lolololol

I got my $5k DOGE check deposited into my checking account. I wired the whole lump sum to help fund research that was cut for making mice transgender. Too bad I just found out that research was for making mice TRANSGENIC. What have I done???

More like Stranger TROLLS bc wtf

stg if the spurs lose the super bowl I’m throwing every stink bomb money can buy at the antifa headquarters MARK MY WORDS

Chill out with these questions, Andrew

👀🦁😮