Congrats to Taylor Swift Another girl who said no to me… What am I doing wrong

Bought two cinema tickets so it wouldn’t look like I was alone. Ticket guy said, “your mate running late?” I said, “no, its for my popcorn”

Bendi can approach and talk to multiple girls, I can't even look at one without feeling ashamed Will I die alone? Anyway check out AWOLs daily raffle

Places to avoid on a date: - Anywhere with communal benches - Rooftop bars in winter - Anywhere that serves “quirky cocktails” in wellies, buckets or bird cages Learn from my pain.

Just sat alone in a bar watching #MCIMUN and seeing empty seats? Why ? I thought this was a big game?

It's Feedback Friday: “The blonde barmaid farted on us… she spun around and crop dusted us with a terrible smell.” Nothing like a pint and a side of mustard gas to keep you coming back.

TripAdvisor loves a place with “character.” Translation: broken furniture.

I once had a date at TripAdvisor’s “romantic pub”, which had one chair, no food, and a bloke called Terry singing karaoke. She loved it. And Terry They have now been married for 2 years.

First date at @LeonRestaurants. She asked if I always bring women here. I said, “no, I usually come alone.” Silence. Long silence.

Tried to impress her with cocktails at Dishoom. She was impressed. By the bartender. They’re together now. I’m still here tweeting.

AWOL’s algorithm knows me better than anyone. It recommended @Greggs. Fair enough.

Tried to celebrate my birthday alone at PizzaExpress They brought out a cake and sang “Happy Birthday.” To the wrong table. I clapped along anyway.