This person does not cook.

Entering a password using the tv remote.

Maybe Epstein killed himself because he had no clients.

Another unlicensed sewage discharge into our waterways during a dry spell. South East Water hang your heads in shame.

I received what I initially thought was a spam email, but it began, "Hello Pervert", so they obviously know me.

my future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife…but the seeds of discontent are there

By age 40, you should have 2 chronic health conditions, a favorite brand of paper towels, and 3 local dentists that you hate.

Never knew Flanders had autism

They said I’m the one millionth guy to have diarrhea at Newark Airport and made me take this photo

if i make millions, nobody around me will be broke and i mean that. i will be moving to very wealthy neighborhood

to me, this is just a regular bed

Dropped. Like his trousers.

Taco tariffs for Canada, I see. Only Mexico is actually worried about these.

Surely this time she says no.