It’s me and the mourning dove that’s been on my fire escape for the last hour against the world

Gonna write the great American novel on this thing

Gonna be the first published author to thank air bar in the acknowledgments section

I’m a good writer. No im a great writer. I’m def gonna publish this summer. I won’t waste it, I swear

Call me old fashioned but a letter opener is the best $2.75 you can spend

I’m so tie-tie (tired)

Left my book at my boss’ house. Only have 18 pages left. Can I call him and have him read them to me over the phone?

Listening to Philip Glass while reading about Philip Guston: the Alex W experience

Don’t tell my body that all the hydrating it thinks I’m doing is actually just beer

Gonna learn to cook without setting off the fire alarm

Can we be roommates then?

I love spending $21.59 on lunch!

It must be hard to be an e-girl

I have a way better library than David lynch

One day we’re all gonna receive our first “I’m texting you on my vape lol” text and I for one am not ready

Can’t believe I’m just finding out this exists

Just clocked in at the missing my girlfriend factory and just found out there’s no breaks

Keep wanting to show all my friends my new underwear but that would be “inappropriate”

Did not have running into my Polish landlord in a crop top on my bingo card but you have to be prepared for anything

Thinking about becoming obsessed with how many Instagram followers I have. Wake up first thing in the morning and check. Things like that