Oh Nigel. Everyone's been there, including me last week. Where do you think the term Boris Bike came from! B'Stard!

The next time BoJo gets stuck on a zip wire, I'll cut the cable, causing a by-election in Uxbridge. B'stard! You don't believe he tells the truth do you? He's a bigger B'stard than me!

She's almost as bad as me! But she's not clever enough, as she's been caught out 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 What a total bitch, oops, B'stard! channel4.com/news/brexit-pa…

I wanted to meet BoJo up Big Ben earlier, as I was going to encourage an accident for him. Found out the B'stard is somewhere talking prisons. Hope they've locked him up. Total B'stard!

WFT are you up to Boris Johnson ? That's my job to f@ck parliament over! Be careful next time you're up the Tower. I might just push you off, at the country's great pleasure. B@llocks. That was Urquart. B'stard! So are you 🖕🖕

Give it a week, and this B'stard will be gone. I should be PM ffs.

The sooner I push Boris Johnson Jacob Rees-Mogg John Redwood &all those ERG twats under a bus, the better. They can fill the pot holes. How can I screw the EU if these B'stards want us out! I prefer in. Deeper, the better! B'stards!

Well Boris, you chicken. Afraid of being interviewed by Andrew Neil. Afraid that B'Stard Cummings's arm is too far away to stick up your arse & tell you what to say? Anyway, you're more of a lying B'Stard than I am. Twat.

Ffs lying Boris. Give me a fooking COVID-19 test, before I sneeze on you, you b'stard.

Don't you just love BoJo. You B'Stards voted for him. I give you this.

Did I ever say, that BoJo is an utter twat?

Oh Spitting Image. You can't come soon enough to expose the lying B'Stard. BoJo I mean! I'll push that twat off the top of Big Ben and take over.

No lockdown will stop me from my extra marital Westminster affairs! I've four researchers who I need to satisfy on a daily basis. If Boris can fuck us, then I can fuck them! End.

So, the lying B'Stard gets married and doesn't invite me. I will poison the B'stard. Now where did I put that Agatha Christie book?

There is no such thing as Tory sleaze, especially if it's me. I'll be supporting my chums and get this sleazy brown envelope thing abolished, saving my chum Patterson. B'stard. My advocacy cash is lining up 💸💸💸 Long live Tory sleaze! Now, where are those brown envelopes? 💸

Great news! 💸💸💸💸 Thank you my sleaze-bag Tory fiddling MP chums. B'stards.

Well, the lying B'stard is finally off. Bugger off Boris. I'm moving into No10.

Lizz Truss even makes me look like I tell the truth. She's a lying B'stard, who we'll dump within a year.

I can't stop laughing at you B'Stards 😂 Rishi and co are still Tories and just Boris in a skirt. Wake up! B'Stards 😂😂