Why do old cis het white men hate going to the doctor so much when healthcare was literally invented by and for them?

Pro mammogram tip: When you're done with your exam, LIFT and remove your titty from the machine, if not it ends up like hot silly putty dragging along a plastic tray

I wish I could turn 30 again so I can have a Dust Bowl themed party

I love to go into a fitting room when there are people in fitting rooms next to me and yell "everybody's nakkieeeee!!!"

The “guns don’t kill people” people sure seem to think a book can make you gay.

Jason Bateman in the “SmartLess” documentary is an almond mom

I just ate bad expired deli Turkey because I gaslit myself into thinking my new cheese was just extra fancy and smelly and it may not be a great day for me after this

I'm sorry that Mitch McConnell appears to have suffered a medical incident. He'll have the best health care that tax-payers' money can buy, and return to work to abolish medicare and social security for the rest of us.

in a weird place mentally. i hope sitting inside for the next 48 hours fixes it

Hey Cracker Barrel maybe hire a few gays to do a little review before you role out those pegging rewards

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