...TODAY, I will be sending federal law enforcement and the National Guard to Kenosha, WI to restore LAW and ORDER!

Spilling a miller high life on this thing and it short circuits somehow fusing to my spine through electricity power granting me unknown power as online scorpion man

From the mountains of Dagestan to UFC champion. Whether in spirit, or in person, Abdulmanap was in Khabib's corner every step of the way. "Father's plan" is not finished just yet. The job is not quite done... #UFC254

GO PACK GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Listen kid, I don't have that much time. Buy as much stock of $gme as you possible ca-

You gotta be out of your damn mind to go to Popeyes and get a flounder sandwich

"Hello Coinbase, somebody used my credit card to buy Bitcoin at 67k"

Every dang hotel I've stayed in.

Me giving a presentation in my macroeconomics class after drinking 80 beers the previous night

I’m in turbotax fighting for my fucking life

Going to Applebees and drinking 13 blue Hawaiian Long Island iced teas while telling the server I can’t have seed oils

The IRS showing you all the crypto transactions you failed to report

VOTE TRUMP

CEO, CMO, CTO of the USA

when I have a bad Thursday:

I have announced the following tariffs: Wife: 50% Kid 1: 30% Kid 2: 25% Mother-in-law: 100% Dog: 0%

Jesus defeated death so you can live.