George Springer blew the roof off the entire city of Toronto

Boy, people who are really upset about immigrants coming and taking all their jobs sure are excited for A.I. to come and take all their jobs.

Got a Halloweenparty you don't really want to attend? Stay home, and when everyone asks why you didn't show up, tell them you were there dressed as John Cena

A country can never claim to have free speech if it has allowed people to become so powerful that others fear speaking the truth of them.

I don't care how serious it is, every movie should have to have a blooper reel in the end credits.

I like to think that, in an alternate universe, this exists:

1960: in 2025 we’ll have flying cars 2025:

Psychiatrist: “I’m afraid your cheque bounced and was returned for insufficient funds.” Me: “So how does that make you feel?”

Rap beefs be like ‘I don’t like you so I wrote you this poem’

There are two wolves inside you webmd: wolf cancer

When are we going to realize that half of the engagement on this site is initiated by fake/paid accounts to get responses from other fake/paid accounts, so that you, the real account, try to intervene? It's like someome trying to break up a pro-wrestling match.

the craziest thing to me is that gonorrhea would’ve been the absolute perfect brand name for diarrhea medication.

Pure Josh energy.

Working in hotels, I've been fortunate to meet a number of celebrities, and meeting Catherine O'Hara holds a special place in my heart. She had a kinetic energy that few could match. Effortlessly hilarious, charming, and always incredibly present and giving of her time.

He did it. He did it. He did it. It's him. He did it. Oh he definitely did it, I know it. -Me watching a murder mystery

The most unbelievable superhero in comic book history has to be Batman because how did we ever believe that a man whose superpower is infinite wealth would ever use that power for good?

Who fucking closed last night?