Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

WE MOVE IN LESS THAN 2 MONTHS!! I could seriously cry from happiness & excitement.

I think I’m going through something…. I just restarted The OC for 12th time.

WE MOVE IN 6 WEEKS!!!!!!!!

At 4:22, D asked me if we should get food soon. It’s now 6:24, and I asked him what he was thinking. He had the audacity to say, ‘about what?’ And is now slinking down into the couch and closing his eyes. I’m done with today.

Idk what kind of vibe I’m putting out today, but not a single person in the office has talked to me today, except my supervisor.

I am 31 years old, and I have never seen a full episode of The Office.

I wanna circle back to this now that it’s a presidential election year & this lady is tryna support people.

“I’m just going to pretend I didn’t see that.”

I wanna send a huge ‘fuck you’re to Wells Fargo! Ask Wells Fargo Wells Fargo Please make be sit on hold for even longer after someone wiped out my checking account.

Shaq: “Mr. Mounjaro.” Chuck: “I’m not on Mounjaro rn.” 💀 How did we get here!? @NBAonTNT

Oh, no… not me crying over a bowl of ramen while watching the @NBAonTNT last All Star broadcast highlight reel 😭

Plot twist! Microsoft Outlook is down… Microsoft, who did you upset?

“Cuz you’re a Mtn Dew girl, right?” “Well, yeah. But I mean, if it’s pop, I’ll drink it.” - conversations between two middle school volleyball moms 💀 #ollipop

Halfway through my morning cry, while relishing in the fact that I turn 33 next week & have next to nothing to show for it. 🤣 I’ve never felt more millennial and less alive. 💀😐

WHY IS TREINEN IN THIS FUCKING GAME!!! Dave wants to lose. There’s no other explanation. #dodgers