If you think your jobs pointless, my mum is a cook at a playgroup where the kids bring in their own lunches 🙄😂

Me and lyds have been hammering people for queuing for fast food all day. Just drove past Burger King and the temptation was too much, low and behold, who was in front of me in the queue... Lydia.

Why do people even bother to say “social distanced drinks at _____” just call a spade a spade and say you’re at your mates enjoying a drink😂

Why do British mums cook chilli con carne/Spag bowl 14 times a week

"Amber Turd"

“You’ve changed” Nah mate just don’t like you x

If you’re a bloke there’s no chance of you sitting on the comfy chair when going for food with your bird 😂 always stung with the horrible chair on the outside

Wow the accuracy 🤣

Six months ago I said “bees are lovely aren’t they?” to my mum...

Me going a full day without crying then thinking about #ItsaSin x.com/engin_video/st…

When I was five, I found out my grandpa had a twin, when I saw him after my grandpa's funeral. A fucking heads up would have been nice.

Best not tell this guy any secrets

Harry Potter and the Half Cooked Mince

I asked a child what they would give up for lent, they replied "trying" and I couldn't agree more.

I’m not being dramatic but I just can’t work 5 day weeks anymore

If you got your jury service call up for the Wagatha Christie trial of the millennium, I hope you know how damn lucky you are.