the guy at Verizon said I was "very brave" for leaving iPhone, sooo if you don't see me again ...

iPhone made our phones GO DEAD when a new model was released yet we still keep buying iPhones #StockholmSyndrom

my Lyft driver just said, "I gotta remember to stop at the red lights"

#pregnancyperks: I was treated like a human being at the DMV today

People keep asking me if I have any cravings. I don't, but I just ate a mug of ice cream in the shower so I'd like to thank this pregnancy for giving me an excuse to be the full me.

First trimester of pregnancy is basically realizing that you respect a cluster of cells way more than you've ever respected yourself

my baby had hiccups today, which basically feels like getting poked in the stomach by a ghost

maternity jeans made me understand how a cone slips off ice cream

My current pregnancy weight is my husband's goal weight 😔

How do I tell Instagram I'm not pregnant anymore?

Week 3 of Shelter in Place. So bored I'm back on Twitter.

How's it going being at home? Well I was cleaning the stove today and said out loud to absolutely no one, "Man this front burner has been puttin in work!"

My love language is cheese

I miss having a girl spill her drink on me in a bar and me saying "don't worry about it" like a zen stepmom

I tested very positively

Sarah Cooper: I like the ability to sort of take off the emperor’s clothes, take away the podium and the people behind him nodding and the suit.. and just have the words there with my facial expressions so people can literally see he has no clue what he’s talking about

I just signed a petition to demand that the 4 police officers involved in murdered George Floyd be arrested and charged immediately. You should too: go.theactionpac.com/sign/justice-f…

abc7.com/politics/new-c…