bruh yall remember weekend schemers 😭

i’ve never been better, things are going my way

listening to blue slide park feeling like it’s 2012

every time i say oh brother i’m saying it like the guy off spongebob. iykyk

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when my patient says “i’m going to sleep, just try not to wake me up until the morning unless it’s really important”

i could go for a school lunch McRib right abt now

woke up to 35 Happy Thanksgiving emails in a thread from very distant coworkers. feeling grateful

dinner reservations are so annoying for no reason

not me turning 30

when i die bury me with a bottle of Frank's RedHot

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imagine cheating on megan fox mgk is such a loser freak lmfao

i just wanna go tf home

im being so serious and there’s no competition

gen z calling their significant others “fine shyt” kills me

it’s the way i sit and think about my dogs and tear up cuz i love them so much… like all the time😂😂

i’m so close to quitting google if they don’t stop asking me to prove im not a robot every time i google something Google

psa stop painting antique furniture white plz