Skittles turn me on like donkey Kong

Tulips taste like horseradish

If I had a dollar for every one of my nipples I saw this morning I'd have four dollars.

I like to put ice cubes between my toes before I got to bed. Its sensational.

Everyone could use a prostate check from time to time. Know what I mean. I'm giving them out for free

I stuff shells like is stuff my va jay jay. Extra sauce.

Always happy to have the whole fam together @ Rocky River, Ohio instagram.com/p/-ZjC__l4Dq/

The most wonderful time of the year 🎄🍻 @ Court Street Athens Ohio instagram.com/p/-_vp9Kl4LJ/

Gonna miss our favorite lil graduate #PK @ Ohio University instagram.com/p/_NQylal4PS/

Hoooooolly moley! Have I got some news for all of yous. Last night I ate a twice baked like a hot pocket. MONEY. #2bakedpotate

Moooooore news! This morning I was informed on the latest update on the plizilbutt. It's official, plizz in the house. #plizzmybuhbruh

All you ball lickers better pay attention to what I'm saying. This shit is like mini epiphanies. I'm raining down life changing philosophies

I'm sorry... things got a little outta hand last tweet. #imhumblenow

No you know what... you the ones that are ball lickers. #jayandsb

What would I do without these idiots @ Athens instagram.com/p/BAH7VYyF4FI/

Missin sunny skull days in this 7 degree weather #wcw @ Smiling Skull Saloon. instagram.com/p/BAxMO18l4LT/

Solid weekend with my favorite group of dumbasses @ Ohio University instagram.com/p/BA82aFrF4An/

Tuesday shits are always soupy #poopsoup

Happy vday to my lifelong homies miss and love you guys @ Courtside Pizza instagram.com/p/BByeC1hF4FJ/