self sabotaging my relationship so i can focus on whats important to me (the darts)

thinking of all my fellow logistics workers on this hallowed day

i love damon heta damon heta damon heta damon heta damon heta

Me at the Shaun The Sheep farmer appearance in Wallace and Gromit.

new christmas low: my gran compared keir starmer to adolph hitler

got new glasses and no one said wow emily you look so cool sexy stunning beautiful in your new glasses. why is that

maybe the love of my life is on Linkedin

gonna do monk march. no shagging no job just pure gregorian chanting and making tonic wine in a bathtub

how do i get letterboxd famous

rhubarb is just girl celery

my boyfriend explains cricket to me while i sit there like

there is something that feels so slutty about eating a ripe nectarine over the sink

i would love to talk to lorde about ovulation

lip liner is propaganda

relationships in the modern age is not being friends on Facebook with your boyfriend

hi im emily and i’ve been a victim of the retinol uglies

surely everyone getting bob haircuts again is a recession indicator

i have to be the hottest person in the intermediate excel training class

i love doing pills on new years eve (penicillin and paracetamol)

things i think are chic: - eating kiwis with the skin on - bare nails - not drinking caffeine - only reading magazines - not owning houseplants