This is my favorite day

Thinkin’ about the old woman behind me at House of Gucci who, 45 minutes into the movie, said “she reminds me a lot of Lady Gaga”

does anyone know somebody that works in construction? Looking for someone to drive a steamroller over my back

Sam had two gin and tonics and now won’t stop watching Adele videos

My favorite Christmas tradition is losing my mom in Meijer after she sends me to get balsamic vinegar.

Love that football players have their lil’ capri pants

Is thinking everyone is mad at you a side effect of covid?

Fedloans, I have forgiven myself for going to theatre school, it’s time you do too.

Wish I could escape the need to be every tour guide’s favorite guest of the day

consolidated my student loans

Why did my brother send me this on Instagram

Missing the tulip time Saturday parade today, don’t text.

Trying to be the most hated person on the plane today ♥️

coming to terms with the fact that I’ll never have a viral tweet because y’all like those “milk is just cow water 🤔” tweets too much

How do I make sure Kristen Bell knows and is extremely excited about my engagement?

Leaving work early because I stayed up too late watching the Sister Wives premiere :/

Constantly resisting the urge to say “but anyways, how are YOU doing?” to my therapist

Mentally, I am here.

How do I explain to recruiters that my dream job is Professional Podcast Guest?