It’s so weird some people think if they shout their opinion it somehow makes it a fact

The year is 2024. The UK is in tier 86. Everyone must now be confined to their own individual Tupperware lunchbox.

PLAN FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS 1. Do one press up 2. Scream into the void 3. Read a "book" (pizza menu) 4. Scream into the void 5. Start a new hobby (sit down showers) 6. Scream into the void 7. Resist urge to cut own hair 8. Scream into the void 9. Toast 10. Scream into the void

The nice thing about the void is that it's big enough that we can all scream into it whilst still observing social distancing.

“soooo many businesses would go under if the minimum wage is raised” so you agree? that companies rely on the exploitation of their employees to sustain themselves?

He seems like a very happy old man looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!

99% of the time, I ignore trolls and ban them. 1% of the time, I do this:

Weetabix Heinz ‘Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give...this?’ Matthew 7:9

You can't compare Great Britain and New Zealand, it's really unfair, there are so many variables that are completely different. For example, their leader is very good and listened to science whereas ours is properly shit and listened to Steve Bannon and Dominic Cummings.

So I’m not getting a vaccine next week - was feeling weird about why I’d been selected ahead of others so rang GP to check. Turns out they had my height as 6.2cm rather than 6 ft 2, giving me a BMI of 28,000 😂

Should big businesses like Amazon who've made obscene profits during the pandemic pay more tax? Yes Yes Yes 👇🏽 👇🏽 👇🏽

I want to live in a world where, wherever you’re from and whatever your circumstances, you are believed and helped when you reach out in a crisis.

'I want to congratulate the PM - he's achieved a new first: the first resident of Downing Street to be a constituent of a Labour council'. Sir Keir Starmer pokes fun at Boris Johnson after Labour won control of Westminster Council in the local elections. trib.al/rmsQOSl

I wonder if the inventor of paper straws ever considered that they would be in prolonged contact with liquid.

im still trying to recover from this

bet they’re filming chocolate week in the bake off tent today