the trick is being a 15 out of 10

i don't mean to be rude but by definition some of you must be lying about having the best dad in the world

is this some kind of sick joke mymind.com

turning 30

oh what, and be implanted with a transistor radio? nO tHanK yoU

youtube.com/watch?v=Uq734_…

imagine raising a child for 18 years only for them to turn around and tell you they want to make tiktoks for a living

every day there is a new (and somehow entirely different?) niche discourse on this app and every day i find myself googling some truly wild combination of words like "dawn kidney grubstreet" to figure out what on god's green earth it is today

remember when we'd look at the US and be like "oh man it must suck to have an absolute dummy running the country, would sure hate that!!!!"

if you think i'm publicly sharing my spotify wrapped you're crazy

the CDC says if you’re going to drink they’d rather you do it in the house

We did it, Joe

Yeah sex is good but have you ever put an out-of-office on?

girls go on twitter for 5 minutes just to retweet everything they see and leave

sometimes I’m having a good day and then I remember emily ratajkowski still got cheated on

none of us r ok day

sometimes it feels like everybody is a

Australia: violence isn’t the answer! They should be peacefully protesting instead! Palestinians: ok we’ll hold a peaceful protest then Australia: no not like that

and are the “human rights” in the room with us right now?