open.spotify.com/track/0UHB9MET…

Instagram is a masochist’s paradise

Forgive me for being yoked as fuck🙏

😭open.spotify.com/track/5QCfOMH5…

Can I come over and do happy baby

Need to start a book for the all-lady work book club I’m in but I’m currently reading a 600 page behemoth about Stalin🥸

Seeing people and then looking away so they think they saw me first

Plugging your ears while pooping at work so you don’t have to be humiliated by the sound of your own splashes

I’ve been living with the tragic perception setting up to like 100% & the comic at 25%. This is a recipe for disaster.

Abstaining from run clubs is jihad

When I was a young warthog (I struggled with a lack of self love)

Was not a good omen that this was my favorite song at like 7 open.spotify.com/album/71clfVkk…

It’s a grey day in a sunny city

There are eternal moments we share. Call it love.

Finding out your wife was one of the 50 dates in 50 states girls and immediately blowing your head off

The concept of a coworker who talks like Mort from Madagascar

open.spotify.com/track/4N1dogCa…

Be honest y’all am I chuzz