the a in my name stands for always right

I am so sick of people not respecting the fact that I am perfect in every single way with no flaws whatsoever

SpongeBob has the funniest background characters ever bro 😂😂😂😂😂😂

The coconut oil has solidified

been feelin like squidward lately

Every white guy ever loves comparing himself to being a golden retriever lol

King Henry VIII was the Nick Cannon of the 1500s

I hate office small talk, how am I doing today? Same as I was when you saw me yesterday Janet, I want to fucking kill myself

girls will sit under the sun and immediately feel like their mental health is cured (im girls)

Predators exist Hooman: boop

just got revenge on someone who wronged me 6 years ago. never be relaxed ever. i’m coming

Baseball season.

jesse winker when the mets face the brewers in july

Elmo is just letting you know that Elmo might be a little grouchy today. Naptime didn't go as planned.

Ubering home from JFK after 9 days in Europe