Pleading insanity to a traffic violation

My wife is sobbing on the couch because the Japanese monkey got beat up again

keep that fucking dog on four legs gamefreak

went to the gym, went grocery shopping, prepped for dinner, made banana bread, and did a small load of laundry all before 1pm. i’m so fucking back

I took myself on a breakfast date and played sudoku and journaled and read 5 pages of a book

everyone was mocking her when she did this but her mission was completed though.

y'all don't have seasonal depression you have black mold poisoning from those owalas

Daily affirmation: Yayyyy

the block button really does speak to me like the cursed amulet sometimes. thousands have been slain for minor acts of treason. all for the glory of my kingdom of course

small streamers going live:

dads and the dog they didn't want

i love sabrina carpenter

I just feel like straight men should have to ask me for permission to watch the house tour music video

Hudson Williams looks like wasian Keanu Reeves

80 degrees in NYC and I’m shoulder checking Europeans all over Times Square never kys