Helicopter hovering over 12th Street and 6th Ave. Someone's in trouble...

It was a 0% chance of rain but it's totally raining so happy fucking 4th of July.

Waited at 7th Ave for almost an hour for an F train that is currently stuck at 4/9th for "train traffic." I fucking hate the MTA.

Let's get fucked up and go cut off everyone's man buns.

Picked up my laundry this morning and amongst my clothes were someone else's way nicer clothes. All in my size. To keep or not to keep...

I mean, they are already clean...

I obviously gave the clothes back, you assholes. I'm not a monster!

It's father/son day at the barber today. Which means the Playboys go to the bottom of the magazine stack.

Excelsior is having their grand re-opening tonight, in their new location on 5th between 15th and 16th. Go give those gays some haaaays.

(I'll see myself out)

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Bar Toto has the best egg sandwich in all of Park Slope.

This dude is currently terrorizing everyone on the F train platform with his accordion, drum kit and mustache.

It was so bad, I took the G train instead of an F just to get the fuck away.

I swear this asshole came from Coney Island just to fuck with us.

Has anyone tried Cleanly yet? Founder Tom Harari came up with the idea while living in Park Slope. Seems perfect for my lazy ass.

Any saint out there want to cat-sit for a month? Friend is moving cross-country and needs a temp home for 17-year-old cuddly-cat. Will pay.

There's a monster 2-year-old on this F train who had been screeching a high-pitched scream for 15 stops now and help me.

Seriously, his screech is so high, I'm pretty sure these glass windows are going to break at any minute.

And his parents keep tickling him which is NOT HELPING.

I'm pretty sure he's part velociraptor.