Remembering I can just fill my stomach up with water rather than food

Celebrity worship

“@ grok is this true”

tight clothes highlight my fat rolls and baggy clothes make me look fatter

just uploaded a bunch of thinspo to be printed and shipped to me so ill have physical copies im so excited eeeee

ate a lot earlier in the day like before 3pm. ive had a little fruit since then but thats it. now it’s almost 11 and my stomach is growling? thats odd

ill be 31 in a few weeks..my ED started around 11yrs old..🙂

idk what’s been happening to me but the past couple months i like don’t want to be around anyone or talk to anyone and i feel terrible cause people try to include me in things. i just want to be home in bed. plus i don’t have any ‘extra’ money. it’s all for bills.

as a single mom i don’t have a big support system where i can just get a sitter n go do things.

if i didn’t have to work id never hang with anyone except my mom n brother once a month. ive been an introvert long as i can remember but now it’s like being social on any level just feels like too much. too many expectations and insecurities. masking has gotten so so exhausting

the only guy i semi like has been wanting to hangout n asked to come over to cuddle. i couldve made that work if i wanted to maybe but i gotta be up early and above all i really don’t want anyone in my space in my bed walking around my apartment none of that.

i feel like i want to be in a bubble. alone. in silence. no one needing me for something. people always need me for something and before i loved that cause i felt it gave me purpose but now. im so tired of it. I need me now and i don’t have time/energy to be there for myself

i wish i could block everyone and just be left alone

i feel like having a full on meltdown but i have a mental block when it comes to crying about things irl. i cry with ease to movies n shows though

why am i thinking about cutting its been a year n a half since ive done that but it still haunts me. i can be back at zero days clean in just a moment. i could do it. some days i still really want to

not looking forward to work tomorrow. today was a shit show and i cant believe i have 2 more 10hr days left this week

up with anxiety about work tomorrow plus lax cramps. plus my period will likely start in the morning which means cramps😭

its been 15yrs i dont remember 🥲