Emily and I are sharing a bed in dc for the weekend and she takes a snap of me this morning to send to her cousins and deletes it and goes “ugh, you look like a boy, I don’t want my cousins thinking I’m sleeping with a boy.” ~my life~

this is why you adopt not shop.

I would say Minnesota is most underrated city in the country. Excited to be back again. @barstoolradio live from 3-5 at Cowboy Jacks tomorrow. #FinalFour

me before going through security at airport: what if i accidentally have a gun

i am being personally victimized by Maisie Radle Hannah Biesterveld and Emily Doughty on snapchat right now. they are purposely posting REPEATED pictures to make me feel FOMO and i will not stand for it any longer 😪👎🏻❌🚫

I like big butts and I can NOT lie :)

Folks it’s actually happening, I am the Luggage Guy. Tune in next week. #TheBachelor

Barbara's God and Madison's God are gonna be super mad at each other. #TheBachelor

Cannot think of an activity more desirable than Getting Coffee and Walking Around

I hate people who give up on Summer in August. August is prime summer. Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up

9/11: My Reflection bars.tl/3383059

i disagree with my spotify wrapped. i don’t think some of this is true

DON’T WORRY DARLING cast and crew reunion hosted by andy cohen