Tonight when I was serving an old lady told me ‘it’s a shame you have your ears pierced because you’re such a handsome young man’ yeah well idk how to tell you this ma’am but chances are your granddaughters nipples taste like quarters so do you want ranch w your wings or what

I adore you!

Words can’t explain how grateful I am for you

Major mood:

Can somebody please explain success to me? Having a real tough time figuring out what defines a successful life

You don’t know how much you’ve helped me grow

I have had so many fantastic moments this summer, thank you for being a part of all of them 💖

Dentist: Open up Me: Sometimes my low-esteem and anxiety make me question if people genuinely enjoy my company or if they’re just using me

When your boo isn’t responding but you’re chilling bc you trust them unconditionally, respect their space and encourage their individuality

Good morning beautiful people of the world 🌞

Don’t forget to sin this weekend

🤣🤣🤣 x.com/things4whitepp…

People will love and support you when it’s beneficial

Slightly below room temperature water is way better than ice cold water but that’s something only advanced water drinkers know about.

You may not want to exist right now, but someone is happy that you do.

i know Japanese, you 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚

Did you really think we could legalize the Devil’s lettuce without giving him ours in return? Fools. Look what we’ve done.

Oh shit i shouldnt have woke him up