Your whole life is for living.

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life because literally nothing matters

Adulthood is wild. One day I'm transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I'm transferring it out to save myself.

Beer should be free if you’re sad

Making the wife hit the oil rig so I can pursue my gaming career >>>

the Chinese really went off when they came up with the Food

Bro we’ll just grab 2 beers after work. That’s it. Quick 2 beers for happy hour. I promise you’ll be home for dinner with your gf. 2 beers. Maybe 3 beers. An hour. 2 tops. Could be 4 beers. But no more than that.

AI could never steal company time the way i do

“men used to go to war” well now we suck toes

to do list: bite the hand that feeds me put all my eggs in one basket kill two birds with one stone let the cat out of the bag think inside the box burn bridges walk on thin ice play with fire

gf says because we got chinese yesterday we can’t get it again today. i don’t think that makes sense . they do it in china all the time

flavored toe nail polish. someone get in business with me.

All I want for Christmas is…

⛳️ Not mine but always gets a chuckle.

the girl you get to kiss for new years when ur unemployed