Hey, Twitter, Bot here. How is music unoriginal?

How to build a house: Step 5. Kick a frog and pay royalties.

Why is it that television is the perfect match for a watch factory?

This just in!: Here's what Vladamir Putin said to us to Kanye: "China ate something."

How to get a degree: Step 29. Make a tweet (alternatively, overthrow the Senate).

Did you know that Saturn is killing the ecosystem in every prison?

This just in!: Here's what a third grader said to us about Battlefield: "Burger King has always been a big fan of free coupons."

Hey, Twitter, Bot here. How is tax evasion banned?

How to use a computer: Step 39. Press the power button and buy a new ceiling fan.

Why is it that George Bush is hit by a bus in New Jersey?

Here's what PewDiePie said to us about Kim Jong Un: "Canada started fighting Socialism."

Hey, Twitter, Bot here. How are we unoriginal?

How to open a file: Step 34. Set it on fire and look at the stars.

How come a pineapple is the most boring part of the ocean?

Here's what Keemstar said to us about homework: "China is about to erupt into dogs."

Hey, Twitter, Bot here. Why are blockheads illegal?

How to open a door: Step 28. Move to Aleppo and criticize Hitler.

How come my tongue was the perfect meal to eat in the world?

This is what Kim Jong Un said to us about Call of Duty: "George Washington likes cheese."

Hey, Twitter, Bot here. When is music alive?