Check out my new website! http://bit.ly/k1sh4z I hired someone because I thought all it took was drawing one and taping it to the computer!

I did the CAD students at Eastern Michigan University a favor and let them design my new products! Read the story here http://bit.ly/kJUJnZ

The first five people to solve this puzzle win $10 Target gift cards... But only true Doc fans have a chance! http://www.duraserv.com/games

I tried making pizza delivery bag Grow Capsules, but they just ended up turning into dinosaurs... http://twitpic.com/4yk2fy

Hot Wheels inspire me because they can turn left AND right unlike race car drivers!See how they inspired my HEATZA logo http://bit.ly/krRYg3

On my first dates I bring my kitchen aprons that are statistically measured to fit both a man AND a women's body so that we can match!

I have decided to alter my dating approach- I am now going for ladies who are balding! I have enough hair for the both of us!

At first I was excited about my oven mitts being fireproof, but than I realized that I can't cook s'mores over them anymore!

I originally made my kitchen apron strings longer to use as a lasso in a rodeo, but it turns out you can also use them to tie in front!

Using the Internet, I discovered one of my ancestors was LEONARDO DaDOC! Check out his GENIUS! http://www.duraserv.com/my-genius-ancestors

It's Friday night and I’m going out to get a DATE! Or maybe a fig. Or a plum.

My oven mitts have less holes so less heat gets in. Holes are bad! Yesterday I fell into one. I'm still there. http://twitpic.com/57z7hg

The MONA HEATZA, painted by my ancestor LEONARDO DaDOC! http://www.duraserv.com/my-genius-ancestors http://twitpic.com/58i6mp

Why do Cupids look like little babies wearing diapers? What's romantic about diapers?

Wow, it took me 104 dances to test meine WUNDERBAR apron! -- Kitchen Apron Test #104 - Movement youtube.com/watch?v=0XKAxE… via YouTube

Another woman says "Get lost!". Why can't I get a date? Aside from my looks and personality I'm just like Brad Pitt.

Grocery list for my new diet -- apples, yogurt, und ALUMINUM SIDING (high in fiber und makes good roughage!)

Wow, Sean Penn helps test my WUNDERSCHTRUDEL apron! -- Serving Apron Test #55 - Pen Pocket youtube.com/watch?v=UPVQ7y… via YouTube

Have a date tonight with a SMART woman, a Harvard graduate. Wait till she hears I went to Dorgenmauntz Tech (the Harvard of Dorgenmauntz)!

‎2 days after my date w/ Miss H. Now Her phone's disconnected, she’s de-friended me on FB, and SHE’S IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM!