In the dragon's hoard you discover the legendary website CheapBotsDoneQuick. It's embellished with well-crafted spikes of #Tracery and can cast Conjure Twitter Bot. When you use it you feel happy. It is worth at least 999999999 gold pieces.

You smash the urn and discover an unsettling steel longbow. It is haunted by the spectre of a dead ghoul.

The treasure vault contains a scroll; it's a bit disintegrating but you can just about decipher the spell Tasha’s Hideous Rain.

You smash the urn and discover an enchanted wizard's staff which allows you to summon cats but appears to be able to hypnotise lions.

At the back of the mysterious shop, you spy the mythical quarterstaff Darkclaw, which was once used to vanquish a basilisk.

The treasure vault contains a highly polished metal scythe. It's covered with engravings of eldritch sigils.

The sarcophagus is empty except for the infamous quarterstaff Brightbiter, which once beheaded a paladin.

You stumble upon a tanned hide shoe worth about €56. When you wear it you're convinced you're immune to physical harm (you're not).

You come across a silk cloak that used to belong to a minotaur. When you wear it it makes you look taller.

Under the mold you discover a fabric belt that used to belong to a beholder. When you wear it you feel nauseous.

You smash the urn and discover an uncanny plastic rapier. It intimidates with skulls of dusty uranium.

You manage to steal an ensorcelled iron halberd. It glows crimson in the presence of clerics and once belonged to a vampire.

A passing stranger hands you a shiny polyethylene warlock's staff which can duplicate itself but only on Sundays.

Garfield the Deals Warlock offers you a crystal spade. It's adorned with engravings of spider webs. It's worth 20 copper, give or take.

The Fantasy Costco sells you a scroll; you attempt to translate it, and discover it's the spell Glyph of Beetles.

The ancient urn contains a scroll; it's soggy but you can make out the spell Animate Voles.

Under the mold you discover the mythical warlock's staff Bloodstaff which changes the volume of your voice but only works underground.

You detect a diabolic scroll that seems to be inscribed with the spell Detect Beetles. Someone's doodled a great hero in the margin.

You stumble upon a smudged scroll that seems to be inscribed with the spell Zone of Evil.

In the beholder's backpack is the notorious wizard's staff Bloodcutter, which was once used to vanquish a paladin.