If you're wondering how you can support me, I don't have a Patreon but I do have a 2021 Calendar of tricks to appear smart in meetings that's out TODAY! Here's a thread of a few of my favorites... 1. Say "it is what it is" publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/calendar/trick…

Great Googly Moogly.

Retweet if you agree.

I can't wait to sleep soundly again.

SWAN: Ghislaine Maxwell has been arrested on allegations of child-sex trafficking TRUMP: You don’t know that SWAN: We do know Maxwell has been arrested TRUMP: Good luck. Let them prove that somebody is guilty nymag.com/intelligencer/…

If only there was a center focused on the control of diseases, I bet they’d excel at this task.

Regeneron’s monoclonal antibody cocktail that Trump credits for “curing” him from COVID-19 wouldn’t even exist without the human embryonic stem cell and fetal tissue research that Marsha Blackburn sent two armed US Marshals to subpoena me to Congress to stop me from doing. Irony.

From our friends MeidasTouch Donald J. Trump @lincoln. Donald, the people are laughing at you. You think you look like a leader? You are an OOMPA LOOMPA

I hope Mike Pence smiles enough, is likable, and doesn’t comes across as angry at the #VPDebate. Also, OMG, like, what’s he gonna be wearing?

“Sir do you want to go over it once?” “No. It’s going to be something like we’ve never seen before you won’t believe it!” “Please sir I’ve got tears in my eyes” “It’s going to be strongly fine! Roll camera”

😂😂😂😂😂😂😀

It's hard to get the right interns these days.

Achhh. We are so busy being pissed off that Trump is having a big event so soon with no social distancing that we are forgetting to be pissed off that TRUMP IS USING OUR HOUSE FOR POLITICS. This has never happened before and should never happen again.

Why? Without all these contacts, there wouldn't have been a fruitful FBI investigation into Trump-Russia contacts. (No "there" there.) No Russian contacts means no Sessions recusal, and no special counsel. No Mueller report, and no need for a Durham counter-investigation, either.

It’s as if the people complaining about Section 230 haven’t read it, because their wild claims about it bear little relation to the law.

This is the most brutal beatdown I’ve ever seen in a presidential debate.

Can you believe that,with all of the problems and difficulties facing the U.S., President Obama spent the day playing golf.Worse than Carter

President Obama has a major meeting on the N.Y.C. Ebola outbreak, with people flying in from all over the country, but decided to play golf!

While our wonderful president was out playing golf all day, the TSA is falling apart, just like our government! Airports a total disaster!

Donald Trump reminds me of this Fred Armisen character who can't finish a single sentence