〝Yes you, sweetcheeks - don't have a toothpick, do you? Something small enough to stab the male ego and get the salt out my shiny whites. 〞

〝 Who else has a behind like mine, lovely? If I was blessed with the disposition, I'd be offended you had to ask. 〞

〝Please, Hawke. The only thing that could have kept me away was gold. Or sex. Or food. Or ale. Or sleep. You know, I'm rather surprised I showed, too. 〞

The insults are flowing but the shirts are still on. Yawn!

Smart girl. Get married young to get it out of your system.

From someone with experience, sweet: now is the time to hone your skills, save your gold. Then if things don't go quite to plan, there'll be plenty of ( rich, toned and tasty ) fish in the sea.

〝Callum. No, Colin. Oh shoot, bend over and I'm sure I'll remember -〞she replies, well aware of his name.

〝Caught red-handed! I should have known it would be impossible to outsmart our darling Commander. Still, one doesn't need to outsmart to undress. 〞

〝Hawke! Don't tell me you've learnt to keep your mouth shut. Getting into trouble with our tongues is what brought us so close together. That and, you know - 〞she places her fingers at the side of her forehead, as if horns.〝Politics.〞

It's simple, dear. If I can lift you above my head, you owe me a pint. If I can't, I'll buy you one.

Oh cometh ye magic medicine man and heal my fucking hangover

〝Are you suggesting I'm EASY, Commander?〞she asks, biting her lip to subdue a grin. 〝Would you rather a challenge? I imagine you're the type to take to a virtuous maiden, frilly knickers and fanciful morals, you know the type. 〞

Realizing that a lot of my advice boils down to "get drunk and the problem solves itself".

At this point I'm unsure if I keep waking up hungover or if it's Land Sickness

new knives? new hat? new knives? new hat?