I will name my first born Diet Coke. We will call them DC for short.

is the simple life streaming anywhere or am I going to have to go on the hunt?

not kidding. i feel like i'm finally hitting my stride and i'm ready to be a vain, vain monster. like, i am publicly announcing that i will be entering my sexy villain arc is 2024. don't act brand new when i start following through🤪

no rizz. just big eyes and many unsettling things to say.

if someone told me i could only listen to one album for the rest of my life i would probably pick epiphany by t-pain /srs

she didn't have to come for my neck like this

can we pretend that tall boys in the garage fridge are like shooting stars ?

Yes.

10 drives. 10 touchdowns. Master of his craft. Welcome home, prodigal son. #WPS

The Arkansas offense tonight 🔥📈 - Touchdown - Touchdown - Touchdown - Touchdown - Touchdown - Touchdown - Touchdown - Touchdown - Touchdown - Touchdown 70-0 HOGS❗️ Arkansas Razorback Football

feels like coming home😌

How I’ll sleep tonight knowing that Bobby Petrino is officially back

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

A hit from the jong on the jofa would cure me

I just think that having a rich man pay all my bills would really heal me

thank god I am a bisexual married to another woman because I cannot imagine having to share my home with a MAN

Ladies and gents, Dave Van Horn!

Turn that damn jukebox on 🗣️