JURASSIC PARK SEQUEL IDEA: 3 Million AD. The humans are extinct. The dino-scientists find mosquitoes with human blood. Guess who they clone... Jeff. Fucking. Goldblum. They mix up the mosquito DNA with Goldblum's. Surprise assholes. This is now a sequel to The Fly.

JURASSIC PARK SEQUEL IDEA [PART 2]: The Goldblums take over the earth. The dinos are enslaved and used as tools. The Goldblums find more human blood. Guess who they clone... John. Fucking. Goodman. Surprise motherfuckers. This is now a prequel to The Flintstones.

I really enjoy when I see someone with a giant Molon Labe (come and take them) sticker right next to a Blue Lives Matter sticker. Like, bro, if the govt is gonna come take your guns, who are they gonna send?

The Nazis stripped the original audio to this video but I was able to find it 🧐

If I could say anything to my 13 year old self, I wouldn’t, because I don’t talk to losers.

Kid Rock makes music for people who know exactly how much Sudafed you can get for a catalytic converter.

I no longer get angry with elderly people, even when they're being total d-bags. Why waste my precious energy on that when I can just, you know...wait.

You ever see someone with a super fucked up car driving like a total dumbass and just think to yourself “yep, that makes perfect sense!”

I just found out that Jack Black and Steve Zahn were recently in the #Cleveland area together and I really hope that means there’s gonna be a sequel to #SavingSilverman

RIP #Apollo, one of the best iOS apps of all time. Thank you Christian Selig for all of your hard work and for fighting till the very end. The official Reddit, Inc. app sucks so bad. #fuckyouspez

NFL teams' records in their last 162 regular season games laid out like MLB standings

Stephen Hawking allegedly being on the Epstein list and participating in an underage orgy was NOT on my 2024 bingo card. You guys think he controlled his dick via Bluetooth? Or like, through his wheelchair? I mean, the technology HAS to be there right?

Good morning! It’s Leap Day. Do something weird. Eat a stick that you found in your backyard. Chug a bottle of Dawn dish soap. Kick a dandelion in the face. Sell your kids to Marshal Mathers for a discounted bowl of drive thru spaghetti.

Registration opens on Friday. This year’s goal is to complete it under 40 minutes. Let’s get this shit done! #murphchallenge

Kinda annoyed about getting notifications from Jackpot.com saying I’m a winner and then checking my account and there’s no extra money in there. Why does it say I’m a winner if I didn’t win anything?

Roses are red, Violet are blue, I'd write you a love poem, But fuck that shit.

Hey Speedway I haven’t been able to log in for quite some time now.

South Park holy sh*t

I truly thought that the president of the USA and the dumbest motherfucker on planet Earth were supposed to be 2 different people, but here we are. Just a reminder to all of you MAGA fucks who want to follow his lead and be a piece of shit racist: he has bodyguards, you don’t.