It’s even fun when you don’t know what you’re doing.

Sending me on an errand that requires constant communication with you, and then suddenly, when I get there, you stop picking up your calls. I can’t act or make a decision without hearing from you, so I end up sitting and waiting while calling you repeatedly for several minutes.

working out should be a celebration of what your body can do, not punishment for what you ate.

‘Cleave’ can refer to splitting something apart. ‘Cleave’ can also refer to the uniting of two things. …what? A word that is also its own opposite is called a ‘contronym.’

Most people think they’re ready for kids because of age or financial status when the biggest indicator should be your selflessness. Are you ready to not do shit for just yourself ever again? Are you ready to sacrifice a little bit of who you once were to don the title of parent?

The best

boy do i have a show for you

Quickest 6 years of my life i swear.

0/10

yall couldn't even handle different skin colours bfr

I can’t understand any reason why they don’t.

That shit was so sexyyyyyyy and making him drink it

I be raw dogging the gym no pre workout no energy drinks just despair

Didn’t know I was defective.

CDs

Daughters that cannot differentiate between coma and comma needs education. Not a man.

Lettuce

Friend started running a while back, and I asked how many miles she does a week and she told me she doesn’t know, that she just goes outside and runs and stops when she’s tired.

A man recently asked me on a date and asked if I had any allergies… I told him I was allergic to lobster and he said it was a red flag that I was allergic to luxury. You know what bitch nigga you got me there and that was also hilarious.

This is simple, really. He's giving you the power to choose to engage. If you engage, you're interested, if you don't, no one is pestering you when you know you're not interested. W-W, really.