James Earl Jones passed away?!?!? I think I'm next. RIP to a true legend.

My 96 year old grandma, "That is bullshittery!"

My sister: What's that thing called where you get your money from? An EMT? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Would you rather be trapped in a mall for 24 hours with General Grevious or Darth Maul?

About to wrangle 130 gymnasts, hangry coaches, and a shit ton of helicopter parents for the next 14 hours 🤘🏻

Stick season is technically a Christmas song

Hell yeah Arizona State bringing the heat

I would hate to be the Texas kicker right now yikes

I'm bummed Arizona State didn't win but another game showcasing how overrated the SEC is

I think that cheerleader is wearing a little too much cheek shadow... Dad I think you mean blush

Bless Ohio State for playing well today for the sake of my dad's bloop pressure

If I act every time someone drags my name through a pile of bullshit, I'll never get anything done.

My sister: "What time zone are we in?" My Dad: "Daylights saving time."

Seeing my student loans say "Paid in full" is a real dopamine rush

if someone gives me a hug I'll probably start crying

Me: What's your blood type? My dad: Red