You may think, whilst standing on a road looking at a forest, that you’re seeing a forest. But actually, if you’re on a road looking at a forest, it’s impossible for that to be a forest. #draxscience

😤😠😡 Really hate trees. Also, fuck squirrels am I right?

Trees are most valuable when we can find excuses to burn them at scale for £1 billion a year. What other possible use could they have!? 🤔

Don't worty folks! 😈 We do evil all across the globe. Not just in the UK! 🤪

Gotta love this "Net Zero" lark 😜🤪 Green growth 100% works and isn't an excuse for our mates @beisgovuk to continue prioritising corporate profit over communities and a habitable planet. Thank god earth has infinite resources. Am i right? PS join the cult of Will Gardiner 😊

Remember folks, it isn't a forest if it's near a road 🤪 Alan Knight, our head of sustainability, has gratiously pointed this out!

This wasn’t very nice 😣 first our silly scientists telling us we don’t know how to count this morning, and then all these pesky protestors at our AGM ??? Not cool. Very upset. Very mean.

Mean 😔 dunno why we can’t just greenwash in peace 😩

My gosh we sure do love deceiving kids xoxo

Right. If everyone could just watch this instead of reading that stupid and mean BBC article (bbc.com/news/science-e…) that would be great. Thanks.

Omnomnomnomnom old growth is tasty. But don't tell anyone 🤫

😤 Pesky little satellite images... 🤬🤬🤬🤬

Throwback to the time Alan Knight, our group head of sustainability, let it be known on #bbcpanorama that forests near roads are, in fact, not actually forests 🤯 This is why we pay him the big bucks 🤑🤑

We love lying to children xoxo

Really hope this inspires more women to help us burn infinitely more trees, scam £billions more from the public and fuck over communities everywhere! Dreamy! #Girlboss #iwd2024womenleadingtheway

Something something BECCS 😍 The high production value of this video means you can definitely trust us. We have never lied. Nada. Never. Not us. 👏We👏Have👏Never👏Lied👏 Anyone who says otherwise is a big meanie 😤

🚢 We definitely wouldn't lobby for a giant pipeline that comes with disturbing health risks for communities in Yorkshire. We promise. Be reyt.

Gotta love lying to kids am I right? xoxo