“I need to make a separate Face ID so my phone recognizes me when I have a blunt in my mouth” a direct quote from me while dingus egg and I were playing magic earlier today

Dude I already know imma be the cool uncle js😎😎

The only people that are funnier than shit posters are the people who think that they know you after not having anything to do with you for a while. Comedy Gold.

I eat shards of aluminum

I just want to be in a city in a cafe studying for my major while watching anime rn😔 small towns killing me

you can tell who didnt grow up listening to rap or care to be informed on the genre as a whole

Bro… Twix are just layered star crunches.

Shoutout to all the milfs

Herbo 🇯🇲 When you get hit with a “you’re like a brother to me”

The Horny Police

Me going sleep thinking that they actually give a fuck about me 🤡

Atomic Jellyfish

i’m fighting for my life tryna finish this semester bro 😭😭😭